


the force is strong with this one

by Beanie_Baby_Snail33 (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, daddy vader bottom!han solo crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:46:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24851029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Beanie_Baby_Snail33
Summary: han solo lets daddy vader choke him out.im so sorry please read this
Relationships: Han Solo/Darth Vader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pineapples_and_bananas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pineapples_and_bananas/gifts).



"darth vader, we meet again." han says darkly as he climbs out of the trash compactor, his limbs mangled and bloodied.

"han solo, its been awhile" darth vader rasps, "please call me daddy vader. darth was my fathers name." he ended the sentence with a wink.

han stepped forward, faltering slightly; hoping darth, no, *daddy* vader didnt notice. *wow, hot*, he thought to himself.

"i am hot aren't i?" senor vader had read his mind using la force.

"dont use the force to read my thoughts," han said picking up his chanel bag and hitting sir vader over the head with it, "dont be fucking , rude!"

dominatrix vader lifted his hand to use the force and choke the fuck outta hand job solo. "silence, thot."

"harder, daddy vader" han moaned, softly as deborah vader squeezed his necky wecky.

dorothy vader was shocked, hannibal solitude is a bottom! he stopped choking hanna solo and took off his kinky latex mask, and coughed out a laugh, his lungs and vocal cords ruined from all of his sick vape tricks, "wow okay bottom." doctor vader scoffed.

i'm not a bottom!" han cried, shocked that this ugly pimply bitch would suggest such a thing.

"oh yeah?" darius vader questioned," prove it!"

Harrison ford- i mean, han solo, glared up at his daddy in-law and reached into his chanel bag, pulling out...


	2. twisty turny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the final chaper is here afte a long wait of like five minutes. i know youre excited please calm down.

han reached into his valentino white bag, past the l-l-l-lipstick and pulled out, none other than, an uno reverse card! "who's the bottom now anakin."

"still you bitch." daddy af by slayyyter now on itunes whispered before slicing off han's h a n d with his lightsaber (that if you think about they're too hot for anyone to be holding-) but! plot twist! the lightsaber is actually

his p h a t j u i c y c o c k! shocking!

"thats not what your dad said last night." han spat, crouching down to pick up his hand and placed i gently up daria's vaders phat ass.

dollly varten paused, looking and han with disgust, "my dad died. :(" 

han chuckled, "i wanna put the romance in necromance ;) "

suddenly leia appeared out of thin air thanks to the power of, oxiclean stain remover:it gets the tough stains, out! "put that on a shirt you fucking lesbian." 

wow! my wife, han thinks to himself. he chortles at leias witty insult, classic leia!

"btw han i want a deevorce."

"but why?" han stutters.

"ur pp smol" leia shrugs. and turns to jump out of the window into space but she, being the quirky legend she is, doesnt die and instead keeps herself alive so she can punch or yelll at someone later. what a productive queen.

"huh" dark shader huffs pulling his belt out of his belt loops and smacking han on the ass.

han whips around," oh ana (ill be with you still you are the angel that i couldnt kill) i didnt know you were so kinky!" han gasped

"yep!" anakinny says simply, "just call me anakinky."

han stepped forward, cupped darth's nasty face gently with his remaining hand," of course, daddy." he whispers softly leaning to capture daddy vaders lips in a kiss. it was so pure, an in the moment decision. addrenalin pumping still he reached into his own ass and pulled out one of leia's boots, reaching inside to pul out a blade. he threw the boot ut of the window leia had previously jumped out of and promptly sunk the blade into annoyingkin's side; twisting it twice dragging it to the small of his back.

"oh fuck, i mean! chewbacca sound!!1!!!1!" chewbacca sqaked from the corner, he had been there the entire time but noone cared because of the time he offered to get them all coffee but when he brought it back you couldnt even see the coffee below the thicc layer of chewwy (haha) pubes that had fallen in. nobody asked chewbacca to do anything anymore, his therapist was getting tired of having to use three different lint rollers on her couch whenever he left. it was a tugh year.

"youre still the bottom." daddy vaddy said as he bled out, his words garbled, "you know im right"

han smiled softly, he was right.

**Author's Note:**

> i know im incredibly talented no need to tell me


End file.
